I know that the first step is admitting that we are powerless over (blank) and that our lives have been unmanageable.
So here it is: I am powerless over the chaos and my life has become unmanageable. Chaos has invaded every part of my life - work, home, relationships, and daily life. I was ready to break yesterday; and considering the rant that my boss had to endure, it's possible that I actually did break. (Sorry, Matt) But in fairness to the rest of my life, I gotta believe it is the craziness of work that has seemed to create the overflowing river of chaos that I'm swimming in. (visual image of a salmon trying to swim upstream while trying to avoid the bears looking for dinner)
Like a lot of organizations, we had staff cut backs when the economy went sour in 2008. These were pretty deep cuts and the remaining staff was asked to pick up the slack, which we gladly did, thankful that we still had a job. A recent reorganization in our department switched around duties and new responsibilities. For me, it has felt like a pressure cooker as my ADD symptoms have increased with so much to do and trying to absorb a lot of new information.
Short term memory? (what was I going to say about short term memory???) Oh yes, my short term memory has gotten even shorter. I'll take notes in meetings to remember what I need to do when I'm done with the meeting, but I forget the action step in the middle of writing it down!
So here it is: I am powerless over the chaos and my life has become unmanageable. Chaos has invaded every part of my life - work, home, relationships, and daily life. I was ready to break yesterday; and considering the rant that my boss had to endure, it's possible that I actually did break. (Sorry, Matt) But in fairness to the rest of my life, I gotta believe it is the craziness of work that has seemed to create the overflowing river of chaos that I'm swimming in. (visual image of a salmon trying to swim upstream while trying to avoid the bears looking for dinner)
Like a lot of organizations, we had staff cut backs when the economy went sour in 2008. These were pretty deep cuts and the remaining staff was asked to pick up the slack, which we gladly did, thankful that we still had a job. A recent reorganization in our department switched around duties and new responsibilities. For me, it has felt like a pressure cooker as my ADD symptoms have increased with so much to do and trying to absorb a lot of new information.
Short term memory? (what was I going to say about short term memory???) Oh yes, my short term memory has gotten even shorter. I'll take notes in meetings to remember what I need to do when I'm done with the meeting, but I forget the action step in the middle of writing it down!
Today was my regular appointment with my favorite psychiatrist, Dr. Heather. It was only for my regular med check, but I went into the appointment with a list of my recent crazies. On the positive side, I'm not suffering from depression (a very common ADD symptom) and my mood is generally good, but my patience is nil. (Sorry, work cohorts.)
So today, we decided to up my ADD medication and see if it helps. A good idea except for the timing. Right now, I'm about 20,000 feet above the U.S. (Love, love, love Delta Wifi) on a five-day trip to California. I'm hoping that the transition is smooth.
The trip is part work and part vacation and I've informed my boss and cohorts that at 5 p.m. Wednesday, when I'm done with my meetings in California, I am disconnecting from work - no guilt, no worries, no checking emails or voice mails. I didn't even bring my work laptop with me.
Step two? Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Technically, this could be Big Pharm, but I think I have another option.
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1 comment:
Enjoy your mini vacation in California.
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