Monday, November 30, 2009

Black & Blue & Brown

One of my least favorite activities in the morning is getting dressed for work. It sometimes feels like an exercise in futility.

You need to understand that I have a closet full of clothes. There are 12s, 14s & some 16s. And that's the problem. Five years ago, I lost 60 pounds and went from a size 20 to a 12 (and even a 10!) I got rid of my fat clothes, but I gain about 40 pounds back in 2007. Now I've re-lost 30 of those 40.

Today, off-the-rack clothing don't use true sizes. In other words, a pair of pants might say they are a 12, but they are really a true 14. So, each morning, as I'm determining what to wear to work that day, I'll pull out a pair of pants only to discover that they're too loose now. I had already selected the top to go with those pants, but since those pants don't fit, I can't wear that top today because I don't have another pair of pants that fit in the correct color.

It isn't just sizes; colors can be a problem, too. There have been several occasions after walking out the front door of my building, the natural light of the sun points out that I'm wearing navy blue pants and a black sweater or worse yet, black shoes with those navy pants. I turn around and go back in and re-dress for the day. Usually throwing things around out of frustration.

I've heard the suggestions that I should lay out my clothes the night before, so I don't have to do this song & dance in the morning. Sorry, my brain doesn't work that way. How will I know what I want to wear the night before? Who would remember to do something like that?

Today, I thought I was successful in finding a great combination of separates. Black pleated skirt topped with a pink top & a black rayon cardigan, black textured tights, and black Sofft shoes. Walking out in the overcast day, all the colors still seemed to look fine. But three hours later, while sitting in a meeting, I realize the tights are actually brown! And suddenly, I'm hyper-paranoid that people are commenting on my lack of style or color coordination.

I really wish that they had Garanimals for adults. ( It would be so much easier to get dressed in the morning

Sunday, November 29, 2009


Thanksgiving should be the best holiday because it has remained the purest. There is no expectation of gift giving or receiving and there hasn't been much commercialization of it. I don't have to worry about having a date that day like New Year's or Valentine's Day. It's supposed to be about people gathering to be thankful for all they have.

Thanksgiving's purity doesn't last long because at the stroke of midnight, the craziness of holiday shopping starts. It's a competition for opening the earliest - having the most doorbusters or lowest prices. It's a competition for people to say they were up by 3 am and were done shopping by 8 am and back in bed.

Actually, Thanksgiving's purity can get tarnished on its day due to the newspaper ads. You have to get the paper to get the retail ads and plan out Black Friday. The kids have to go through the ads to write out their Christmas list. So now, instead of spending time with your family being grateful for all you have, the young ones are giving you a list of all the things they don't have and absolutely need. So much for gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm grateful for all I have and all that God decided I didn't need.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Post #1

This isn't my first blog. I've started a couple before, but could never stay interested in it. You think it's a great idea when you start, but it's hard for me to stay on topic. I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), but I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 40's. Growing up in the 60s & 70s, nobody knew about ADD. You were a behavioral problem. I grew up hearing, "If you'd only apply yourself..." I would try to study and finish projects, but it was always a challenge. When I was told in Spring 2002 that my depression was not a disease, but a symptom of a disease -ADD, it was like a light was turned on and I understood why I've acted in a way different from others. I learned more about the disease and how ADD is different in women, I discovered the positive aspects of this condition. My creative side was enriched because in order to feel normal, I devised coping mechanisms. While some people may think that ADD means you can't focus at all, there are times when I am hyper-focused to the point that I lose track of time. So why blog about an ADD brain? Because I won't have to stick to a certain topic. I can write about anything. There are arguments that for a blog to be successful, you have to be topic focused. My blog may only be read by a handful of people or people could find my writing style engaging and become a regular reader. Whatever.