Waiting and obsessing

There's waiting

and then there's waiting with a group of people who are waiting, too. Group waiting increases the anxiety level for me. Now if I would learn to wait quietly, I wouldn't have the pressure of the group, but I'm not sure I'm capable of that.

I'll be honest, I've never been very good at delayed gratification. If there is something out there that exists as a possibility and someone else has control of the decision making, I can obsess on it for hours on end.

It's those times that I am grateful for distractions. Something that requires my undivided attention and keeps me so busy that I'm not thinking, so I'm not obsessing.

And, as soon as I find that distraction, I'll be able to stop obsessing.

Or I'll be able to stop obsessing when the focus of my obsession is concluded. And I'll be able provide the answer to friends who have been waiting with me.

The 1st Golden Squirrel Award

This week was filled with travel to Chicago for a work conference, but I managed to squeeze some fun in the evenings. The weather was hot and humid - yuck! We did manage to wander onto the set of Transformers 3 that is being filmed in Chicago right now. Lots of trashed cars and Styrofoam rubble (see photo on the left) and production assistants telling you to keep moving. We perhaps dawdled  in order to snap some photos. I was using my iPhone and it wasn't until we were far away from the set that I remembered that I had my Flip video camera with me. UGH!

Now it's my vacation time and I thought I would jump the gun one day and announce the first winner of the Golden Squirrel award. (see my 7/23 blog post for a complete description of this prestigious award)

It's not a person this week, although it might technically be human. It's the one thing that has distracted me for almost as long as I can remember.

It's my hair. In the love/hate relationship that is "A Woman and Her Hair," this week has been mostly hate. The humidity in Chicago didn't help.

My hair has been nearly every possible natural color from blond to goth black.  It has been straight to curly (courtesy of smelly Lilt perms with its sponge wraps).

The worst was when I tried to highlight my hair in junior high school. Clairol had a new product for doing your own highlights; (Frost n' Tip) it was a cap with thousands of tiny little holes and, using a plastic crochet hook, you were supposed to pull your hair through the holes.  It's off the market now, but you can find it still being used in Gitmo for an alternative torture device.

We didn't give up the idea of "frosting" my hair, we just did it without the cap. Portion control was the issue with this - instead of thin strands, we grabbed chunks. It was awful! My 9th grade photo is the only proof I have and I keep the only copy of it locked up and hidden away. I suppose I should destroy the evidence.

I can link my ADD to my variety of hair styles. Unlike other parts of my life, I could control my hair and whenever I was bored with something, I would color or cut or torture it.

Right now my hair is long, but that could change. I colored it this morning and now it's very auburn. 
I picked up an over-priced hair style magazine at the airport yesterday and have started marking the pages. Not sure how short it will go, but it's going to be cut next week regardless.

Then I'll be able to stop being distracted by my hair.

At least for awhile...

Sunday at the MSP Airport

I'm sitting at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport waiting for my 3:20 pm re-booked flight to Chicago. I am surrounded by a sea of humanity. It is so crowded that people are actually sitting next to each other instead of the requisite one-seat spacing.

www.nataliedee.com

I didn't know that Summer Saturdays and Sundays at the airport are one very long line after another. I got to the airport the recommended 75 minutes before my flight and found the line to check my bag was very long and moving slow. In the 45 minutes that it took to snake through the rope lines, I had a great conversation with three ladies - two traveling for work and another traveling home to Detroit after attending her 25-year class reunion in Owatonna. When I finally made it to the check-in kiosk, I was informed that I had been bumped since it was under 30 minutes before my flight was leaving. 

Delta was horribly understaffed and the agent was cranky and not very helpful. Sorry, sorry, sorry, everything is booked to Chicago - you'll have to fly out tomorrow. What about O'Hara? Without even looking at her screen, "No, those are all full, too. You'll need to go down there (pointing without looking up) to re-book your flight."

I went down there and stood in behind a couple of families to rebook my flight. Only, it wasn't the right line. I hadn't gone far enough "down there." The re-booking line had one agent and about 30 people in front of me. 

While standing in line, a wandering Delta agent handed me a shiny card with an 800# to call for re-booking, telling me and the other hopeless ones that it might be faster to re-book via the phone. She wasn't kidding.

I was on-hold for about 90 seconds before an angel of mercy named Mary came on and was extremely helpful and told me that she could re-book me on a Delta flight to Chicago Midway at 3:20 and she even had a reserved seat for me!

Unfortunately, I had to get back into the check-in line that was still an out-of-control conga line. This time I had a great conversation with a Shattuck-St. Mary's grad who was on his way to Seattle. He was dragging two huge hockey bags and a bunch of sticks taped together, so my my large suitcase didn't seem out of proportion.

About my suitcase; I don't travel light. 

As a matter of fact, I have a suitcase so big I could smuggle a 10-year old in it. It didn't look that big at Macy's when I bought it. A huge bonus with the suitcase is that I can pack lots of winter clothes in it for traveling to skating competitions, but this is a trip to Chicago in July for work. I took it anyway since I might find time to shop. 

Checked the bag and headed to the TSA line. Not bad compared to the Delta line, but the business man in front of me, who hadn't stood in the Delta line since he had a carry-on, was complaining to the TSA folks that they should have more staff. He better not miss his plane or it would be their fault.  Considering my journey so far today, I wanted to knock across the back of his head and tell him to mind his manners and treat people with respect.

The gate area resembles a Mumbai marketplace with people everywhere - leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor, lines going every direction.

The gate agent announced that this flight is overbooked and you could get a $400 credit voucher if you would take a flight later today. I'm tempted since I can always use a flight voucher...

I just don't think I could take spending another four hours waiting in the airport.

The Golden Squirrel

I've been getting a lot of "Squirrel!" comments since I did my "Squirrel! blog post.  Of course, it distracts me from what I'm doing, but it did give me a fun idea.

www.nataliedee.com

I'm going to create a Golden Squirrel award that will given to the person, place or thing that most distracts me during the week. I'll need to find a cool graphic of a golden squirrel to put on the blog and perhaps on a certificate that I can present to someone if they are the person who is most distracting me that week. I'm going to guess that it is more likely to be a place or thing rather than a who, but nevertheless I shall have one prepared. (I love the word nevertheless because it is three words rolled into one!)

Thought I found the perfect graphic above, but then I realized that it is just going to annoy and distract me because it keeps rotating.

So now finding a "golden squirrel" trophy will be my quest during the next couple of weeks. I'm sort of starting my vacation today and I can see this obsession for the golden squirrel leading me to travel to strange places. 

Technically, the vacation doesn't start until next Friday, but I'm in Chicago for work Sunday through Wednesday with a great group of co-workers who will make the conference seems less like work and more like fun!  I'll blog from the conference for this blog and the work blog.

Then Thursday afternoon, I'll start my time off by having the permanent crown put on at the dentist office. (try not to be envious)

After that, the real vacation starts and I'll be sharing the joy that is the Six Best Days of Summer - The Freeborn County Fair in Albert Lea. If you're a city slicker and have never been to a real county fair (going to see either "Carousel" or "State Fair" musicals does not qualify you), you are missing so much. Fear not, I shall share with pictures!

July 30th is also the start of the 2010 Quilt Minnesota State Shop Hop. It's 16 days of fun and shopping. I'll do more than a few posts about these very cool quilt shops.

And to end the day - an amazing sunset over the Target Roseville parking lot. (Sure, I could have left it at "an amazing sunset," but adding the Target parking lot created a certain ambiance for the visual.)

Okay, in just one blog post, I have managed to reference squirrels, quilting, sunsets, musicals, county fairs, Target and Chicago.  Don't you think that takes a certain amount of skill?

Well, I never promised to stay on topic.

Addiction

Note: this post based on my own experiences and, as with all my posts, are my personal opinions and may not reflect the opinion of my employer.

Before I worked for Hazelden, my knowledge of addiction was limited to what I'd learned from media and common observation. The last three and half years has brought my level of understanding to a different level. Not just from learning the talking points, but from meeting individuals who are survivors and for whom each day is a struggle and a miracle rolled into one.

My naivety was evident to everyone when one of my co-workers shared that she was a recovering meth addict.

"A meth addict? But you look so normal!"

I guess I had this vision in my head that all meth addicts must be stick thin with paper-like skin and pock marks from where they picked at themselves. She was healthy and happy and had a great complexion. Every once in awhile, I'll still be surprised by admissions of past drug or alcohol addiction by someone. It's a great reminder for me that addiction is an equal opportunity disease.

I've learned that the stigma attached to addiction is because alcoholism and drug use has been viewed by many as a moral or character flaw. And although addiction/alcoholism was recognized as a brain and physical disorder by the medical profession years ago, that belief is still held by many. Sometimes it may be easier to judge someone's character than to understand a very complex disease.

Maybe because sometimes it is easier to be angry at a living, breathing person than an abstract concept of the disease. It may be hard to separate the pain that the disease is causing you when the pain is delivered by someone who is supposed to love you.

There have been many times when I've talked about addiction as a disease that individuals have told me that I'm wrong and I don't understand the way it really is. Many of the comments came from people who have lived with an addict/alcoholic and perhaps have emotional scars from the experience. I can't blame them for feeling that way and I'm not sure anything I share with them (either scientific fact or stories of redemption), would be heard.

It's not about forgiveness, it's about understanding.

Squirrel!

I have good days and I have squirrel! days. I'm fortunate that my squirrel! days don't become squirrel! weeks. Today has been a squirrel! day.

If you haven't seen the animated Pixar film "Up!", you might not understand what a squirrel! day is. 

Meet Doug the dog. His master has given him a special collar that allows him to talk, but he has one small problem - ADD. He gets a bit distracted by things such as small furry rodents and when he's done being distracted, he gets back to you, albeit not as a continuation of the conversation, but starting the conversation again.

In one of the trailers from the movie, he's talking to Carl (the old guy voiced by Ed Asner) "Hi there! My master has given me this special collar so that I may talk...Squirrel!.....Hi there!"

There are many days that I feel like I'm Doug the dog.  

If I'm trying to have a conversation with a person, whether in person or on the phone, do NOT have a window nearby me that I can see out of! Especially if the window looks out on a wooded, grassy area that may contain squirrels, deer, pheasants, or any other type of small woodland creatures.

I was chatting with a co-worker recently and her cube is right by a window on the "garden level" (the nice way to say basement). During our conversation, outside of that window, I spotted a pheasant. Without taking a breathe, I went from talking about a project to how I had never really seen a pheasant that close to our building.  Her comment to me? "Squirrel!" 

It's good to have co-workers who know your weaknesses and can laugh about them with you.