The Experiment

I grew up in front of a television. I knew the jingles for every commercial (better than my multiplication tables) and I was a media junkie soon after being potty trained. 

I remain a media junkie to this day. It's this reality of who I am that makes last month's decision so surprising. 

Like everyone, I'm trying to watch my spending and each month, there were two bills that really, really irked me; the cable bill and my cell phone bill. Something had to give.  In the battle between television and the phone, the phone won. I called Charter last month and told them to discontinue my cable TV. Everything was unplugged on January 20th. 

I'm sure you're wondering how I've managed to make it through the media withdrawal. How have I survived without my connection to the outside world? 

It's called Apple TV. It's not the be all and the end all, but it's darn close. 

There were only a handful of shows that I watched on a regular basis and through iTunes, Hulu Plus and video podcasts, I think there is only one that I haven't been able to watch. I get Law & Order: SVU, The Daily Show and Glee through Hulu Plus ($8.00/month). I can watch NBC Nightly News, Morning Joe and the Rachel Maddow show via video podcasts (free) and the only one I have to pay for is NCIS via iTunes (at a whopping $2.99 per episode for HD)

Anything I can watch on my iPad, can be fed onto my Apple TV. All of my iTunes music can be played on the TV. 

It's not perfect, I can't watch live TV shows like the Super Bowl or the Grammys, but via Twitter and Facebook, I know if it's good or not and I'll be able to see the highlights on YouTube the next day. 

I'm also getting more work down around the house. I don't spend all night in front of the television. Ideally, I'm hoping to spend more of that non-TV-watching time at the gym, but one step at a time. 

And this is an experiment with potential end date of July 1st. That's when my lease is up where I'm currently living and when I move into a new place (location TBD), I can make the call if I'm going to sign-up for cable tv again or not. 

As for now, I'm not as much fun around the water cooler because I don't know what happened on Gray's Anatomy last night, but then again, I have never watched Gray's Anatomy anyway. 

Why the church is breaking my heart

On a recent episode of Mike and Molly (a CBS comedy), a Catholic priest tells the couple that they can't get married in the church because Molly isn't a practicing Catholic. She responds, "I'm a practicing Catholic, I've just missed a lot of practices."

I've been tempted to use that as my excuse for my poor Mass attendance since moving to Rochester. The truth is that for the last 18 months, I've been pretty fed up with the politics of the Catholic Church.

First, it was the Archbishop in the Twin Cities who spent donor dollars to mail anti-gay propaganda to all registered Catholics. After which, I made sure I was no longer registered anywhere. Then the Bishop of the Winona diocese started the same anti-gay campaign in my new diocese.  I will never, ever, believe that Christ would approve of treating people like this. And for the church to lead the charge is heart-breaking.

My first exposure to a gay couple was actually in my home parish growing up. These two wonderful, selfless women, who have volunteered unmeasurable hours to help the parish, are now being told that their church doesn't believe they should have the same rights as others. Not that either of them would speak out against the church. So I guess it's up to me.

I think about them every time the church's opposition is brought up. They're older now and for one, her health is poor. Just as with a heterosexual couple, the healthier person is caring for the other. But what rights will she have if the other is hospitalized? Have they had to set up lots of legal contracts to make sure that nothing stands in their way? As if their love was a business arrangement?

Recently, I read about a Catholic priest and two Catholic laypeople speaking at a mandatory student assembly where they compared homesexuality to bestiality. The same trio, according to one student, also said that children adopted by single parents were "sociologically unstable."  I was very proud to learn that many of the student wouldn't stand for such junk and argued back. Unfortunately, the damage was done and many students left school very upset.

I'm not sure if I'll officially join another Catholic parish. That's sad for me because I've always thought of my Catholic faith as part of my heritage - not just Catholic, but Irish Catholic.  One saving part for me is that I've always considered my "faith" and "the church" as two separate and unrelated things.

P.S. If you know of any of the Catholic Churches in Rochester that are rejecting the Bishop's stand, let me know by sending me an email at MEHarty at usfamily.net

Remembering the day that changed the world

In the past ten years, I have watched countless documentaries on September 11, 2001 hoping to understand why and how something like that could happen. I even read the 9/11 Commission Report. But in the end, I've concluded that my brain may understand the facts, but my humanity cannot and will not comprehend it.

I was running late to work because I was watching the Today Show talking about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. Suddenly another plane hit the second tower. It was the moment of realization that it wasn't an accident.

As I arrived to my office at Hamline University, our secretary was listening to the reports on her radio. We tried to focus on our work, but every 15 to 20 minutes, the situation changed. Another plane had crashed into the Pentagon. One of the tower collapsed. The second tower collapsed. There might be more planes.

I couldn't stay at work. I went home before noon and sat on my couch and watched the news. And I cried. I cried a lot.

I started emailing friends on the East Coast to be sure they were okay. I finally reached my best friend that afternoon. She was in St. Louis and trying to get home, but with all the planes grounded, she didn't know when that would happen. Mary and I had a long history of talking on the phone while watching history unfold on TV - first time was when Baby Jessica was pulled out of the well.  Talking with her provided a small piece of normal to an extremely un-normal day.

In 2001, I was a member of the Basilica of St Mary Cathedral Choir. We were asked to sing at the prayer service at the Basilica that evening. It was the perfect place for me to be since the choir was my family. I found a lot of peace being with them, singing together and from the words and the emotions shared at the service.

The Basilica was packed that night as everyone was needing the same thing. I remember walking to the back of the church during the recessional and seeing everyone was crying. And whenever I see someone cry, I cry. Crying came so easy that day.

In the days that followed 9/11, it were the news reports from New York City that impacted me the most.  Pictures of the missing were posted all over New York, asking anyone who may have seen their loved one to let them know. The TV reporters would let the people searching to talk about their loved ones and you could hear the pain and desperation in their voices. And I would cry.

I had a small obsession in the days following the WTC attack. I would look at all the photos of Ground Zero and search for office furniture in the rubble and debris. There were thousands of chairs in the tower, how could there not be a single photo with office chairs or desks among the debris? It was just dust and beams and paper.

In the weeks that followed 9/11, the New York Times started running short stories about the 2,600+ people who died at the World Trade Center and I would read them every day. And I would cry.

I didn't know anyone who died in attacks, yet I cried and it took months before I would stop. 

In the past week or so, I've been watching the special coverage of 10th Anniversary of 9/11 and I still cry, but not like before.

As I said, my brain understands the facts of 9/11, but my humanity never will. If I do, I think I'll be lost.

I think I'm supposed to care about this

For the last ten plus years, the Minnesota Vikings have been trying to convince the State of Minnesota that we should build a new football stadium for the team to play in. That Metrodome is SO yesterday and, besides, [be sure to say this in a whiney voice] "all the other kids (re: sports teams) have got a new place to play." (Granted, Target Center needs an update.)

I'm sure I'm supposed to care about this and have a solid, unchanging opinion. Only I don't. Because I really don't care. I'm either supposed to be upset that we're building a sports stadium during a tough economy or that we're missing an opportunity to create jobs by funding this big project.

Maybe it's because I don't care about the Vikings. I think the last time I gave them a second thought and actually watched a game, Ahmed Rashad was still on the team. Or maybe it was when Tarkington was quarterback. Can't remember and don't want to waste any brain cells contemplating it.

I hear people talk about Minnesota losing the Vikings to Los Angeles and how horrible that would be to our economy.  I guess I doubt that because I figure those discretionary dollars maybe would be spent on tickets for the Wild, Twins, Wolves, Saints or Lynx instead. If they want to go to amateur sporting event, we have the Gophers and our high school leagues. Honestly, if you've never been to state hockey tournament, why do you live in Minnesota? If football is the only sport you care about, you must not be a Minnesota native.

I wish people would get as passionate about funding our schools and educating our kids as they do about building a football stadium for the Vikings. 

This Day in History (sort of...)

Have you noticed all the news shows are doing retrospectives of the inaugurations of Kennedy, Reagan and Obama?

Barack Obama was sworn in as President two years ago today. I don't know if there will be a second inaugural address, but his first one was amazing. It was a day filled with hope and great designer clothing.

www.nataliedee.com

Thirty years ago today, Ronald Reagan was sworn into office. The 1980 election was my first Presidential election that I could vote in and although my views tilt toward the left, I will admit that I voted for Reagan. It was really more of a vote against Carter. Since I never cared for any of Reagan's policies, the only benefit I received from his presidency was having something to rage against while in college.

Today is also the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy's inauguration. My memories of that day are limited, but I'm pretty sure I watched it while sitting in the playpen by the picture window.  It's possible that I was actually more enchanted by my reflection as I was easily distracted very early on.

This past Monday was a 20th anniversary that stirred more memories for me. January 17, 1991 was the start of Operation Desert Storm. I was unemployed and looking for work in the Twin Cities. Each week I was staying with different friends until I could find a job. That week I was staying with some friends who were draft age and we watched the news reports of the invasion and I couldn't stop thinking what an impact the war might have on them.

www.nataliedee.com

I also remember how I really didn't want to live in the Cities (I had had two prior Cities experiences), but I felt like it was my only option to find a job. I started doing temp work in February and finally got my first job at Fairview Riverside Medical Center in April.  It would be another four years before I resigned myself to the obvious, and started having a life (social, community involvement, etc) in the Cities. During the denial years, I spent all my weekends back in Albert Lea. 

If someone would have told me on January 20, 2009 that I wouldn't be living in the Cities in 2011, I might have been excited about it, but I doubt I would have believed them. 

If someone would have told me on January 17, 1991 that I would spend the next 20 years living in the Twin Cities, I would have thought that they didn't know me very well. 

I've always had the philosophy that where ever I am, it is where God wants me to be at that time. I don't know where God will have me in 20 years, but I hope it's warmer in January. (wait, hell would be warmer in January...I may have create a couple of caveats to the above statement...)

And a Child Shall Lead Them

Millions of words about the tragedy in Arizona have been written, spoken, tweeted and blogged already. And more will follow. The blame game started immediately. 

I'm guilty of thinking the worst of those with whom I disagree. I'm happy I wasn't near a computer or such at the time as I would have added to the noise.

My thoughts are focused on nine-year old Christina-Taylor Green, the youngest victim of this violence. She was at the event because she had just been elected to her school's student council and she wanted to learn more about government and politics. 

Everyone is talking about the destructive nature of our political rhetoric and Christina-Taylor's death is, perhaps, the metaphor for what this is rhetoric is doing - it is destroying our future and that of our children. The Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik said it best Saturday night, "Pretty soon, we're not going to be able to find reasonable, decent people who are willing to subject themselves to serve in public office."

It breaks my heart to know that even the deaths of these six people may not stop the rhetoric; I've heard that the Westboro Baptist Church, who have protested at the funerals of our soldiers and at Elizabeth Edward's funeral, plan to show up at Christina-Taylor's funeral. I pray that they don't. 

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Edmund Burke 

 

It's time to do something and it can start with each of us. Maybe it won't make any difference, but I have to believe that it will. It's the only way I can get through this.

What I'm Thankful For

It's been one year since I started this blog - November 21, 2009 - and as I look back, I am so thankful for all I have learned in this past year and all the positive changes in my life.

 Photo by Schlusselbein2007

Last year, I didn't spend Thanksgiving with my family. On purpose.  I wasn't in the mood for Thanksgiving as I had been having regular pity parties for myself leading up to it.  I figured that I needed something to snap myself out of the funk, so I volunteered to spend Thanksgiving with strangers, working at homeless shelter serving Thanksgiving dinner. I wanted to remind myself that I was blessed even when I couldn't see the blessings; that I was successful even when I was feeling like a failure. And that your life can change in an instant.

There is a wonderful book out right now that I've downloaded from Amazon called "Open Our Eyes: Seeing the Invisible People of the Homelessness" by Kevin Hendricks (who by chance lives in St. Paul)  It contains the stories of families, children, veterans and executives who are now homeless.  All the profits of the book benefit a project by Mark Harvath called InvisiblePeople.tv - Mark shares the real stories of the homeless in their own words.  And Mark knows homelessness himself, so to say he has the credentials is an understatement.

So next time you think your life is a challenge or start to throw a pity party for yourself, spend 10 minutes watching one of the stories on InvisiblePeople.tv or reading one of the chapters in the book.

Mark usually ends his interview with the question, "if you had three wishes, what would they be?"  Their answers show their humanity and their true character. What would your answers be and what would they say about your character? 

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I've been having a very interesting discussion with myself for days now and I still don't know what to think. 

I learned about a situation where an organization had expelled a couple of members for making threats on Facebook. The organization did the right thing, but wanted me to warn people about the "dangers of Facebook."  

I reminded the gentleman that Facebook is the tool and not the problem. What they needed to be concerned about was the behavior of these young women.  He disagreed with me and felt that young people were not educated on the implications of what they did on Facebook.  

Seriously? Now it was my turn to disagree. If young people are not getting the message, it isn't because they haven't been educated, it's because they don't care and they don't think the rules apply to them. 

And whose job is it to educate them on the dangers of being stupid on Facebook?  The schools try, but they already have so much to teach with ridiculously limited resources.  To me, it goes back to the responsibility of the parents.  And I asked that question - what did the parents have to say about their children's behavior on Facebook?  (Still waiting on that information)

I was given a pdf of one of the members' Facebook wall communications - all 22 pages of it.  I was warned that I would be sickened by what it contained. I'm sure the gentleman was referring to this person's vulgar language, but I was sickened more by stupidity of the conversations. I hope her parents haven't invested much in her education because all I saw on those 22 pages were the conversations of a pudden-head idiot and her friends.

The actual threats were only four or five lines, so I couldn't figure out why I received 22 pages. All I could imagine is that they wanted to show the character of the individual (or lack thereof). I really didn't need to see the 22 pages to agree with them regarding the threat and the need for explusion.

I think the thing that most bothered me was MY lack of feeling shocked by it all. Yes, the threat of harming another person was deplorable, but her vulgar language and sexual conversations annoyed me more than nauseate me. (I wanted to Gibbs-slap her and tell her to get a clue.) Am I unaffected by this behavior because I've seen it elsewhere?  

I did check out Facebook walls of several of the young people whom I have friended. Luckily, my young friends are much more intelligent, wittier and of higher character than this young woman. 

My conclusion: stupid existed long before Facebook; now, they just have a public avenue to display their stupidity.

I Used to Love Politics

I used to love politics, but now I loathe the culture of politics.

And this election cycle has done nothing to renew my passion for the sport... ah... um..., no I'll stay with sport.  Just a very bloody and violent sport.

Our culture and/or society has become so extreme, almost radical. If I tell someone that I'm a Democrat, they automatically assume that I'm far left.  I can't have a decent political debate with anyone any more because few are willing to talk about the issues with an open mind and they spend most of their energy trying to devalue what the other person is saying. 

I would love to see one political ad where the candidate tells you what he/she will do rather than rip into their opponent. They should say what they mean, mean what they say, but they don't have to say it mean. I despise the fact that corporations are throwing money into the campaigns and trying to sway the electorate. I think it just adds to the corruption. 

www.nataliedee.com

Political Science was my minor in college and I pictured myself having a career in politics - not as the candidate, but the political operative. I think I got that from my Dad. He was involved with local politics, but enjoyed the back room politics more than being upfront.

I had an internship in Representative Tim Penny's Mankato office and determined that I like the action of the campaign versus the governance process. (I would guess that is my ADD since campaigns are constantly moving and changing.)

I worked on several campaigns while in college and in the years following. I eventually got a real job out of financial necessity, but enjoyed many conversations with my Dad as we watched the early CNN political talk shows (before they turned into snipefests). 

I'm still a political junkie as I will be watching the election returns this Tuesday night and listening to the analysis and missing my Dad. The first time I realized how much I enjoyed talking politics with my Dad was the night of the 1994 election (when Newt and his boys took over).  He had passed away the previous April, but there were several times that night that I wanted to pick up the phone and call him. 

I don't think my Dad would be enjoying politics anymore either. 

I shall suffer no fools...

(I was just walking around inside my head when I came across a soap box. It was just sitting there, waiting for someone to step upon it and start ranting. Seeing no one else around, I figured what the heck...)

If there is one character trait that I value more than any other, it is intelligence. And it doesn't have to be book learning intelligence. Some people just have it without having to get a Ph.D. (not that there's anything wrong with that...) I love spending time with smart people. Particularly, if they are willing to share what they know.

I divide them into two categories - smart people that can have a normal conversation and those that can't, as they are too busy babbling on about how smart they are. I like the former; not the latter. The second type are usually unable to share information without sounding like they're lecturing. 

I like people with intelligence because what they share usually will get my brain firing and I can stay engaged for long periods of time.

I'm not 100 percent sure why non-intelligent people irritate me so, but I have a very difficult time listening to them as they pretend that they know what they are talking about. I would respect them more if they would just own up, say they don't know, and be open to learning.

www.nataliedee.com

This is really a long build up to tell you how much the Delaware Republican candidate for Senate, Christine O'Donnell, just ticks me off and how I day dream about just slapping the back of her head (Gibbs-slap) and tell her to shut up before she says anything more.

Who is advising this woman? Who thought it would be a good idea to have her do a debate at a law school when she doesn't even know what's in the constitution? I was dumbstruck when she said that the constitution doesn't mention the separation of church and state. It's in the first amendment, so it wasn't even like she had to read the entire document to find it.

Granted, I can't list all of the amendments to the constitution off the top of my head; but hand me my iPhone and I can do it. Cuz you know, there's an app for that and I have it.

What's that old saying? It is better to be quiet and thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. 

Christine, there are less than two weeks before election day. I would advise you to stop talking before Saturday Night Live is able to write an entire show around your brand of crazy.

(Stepping off the soap box and exiting stage left...)

What color is my ribbon supposed to be?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Suddenly the month that used to be about oranges and browns, is all about pink. Why is that? 

How does one form of cancer gain a higher profile than another form of cancer? I know that breast cancer doesn't have the highest mortality rate - that's lung cancer (their awareness month is November). The last list I saw had breast cancer at number five. So how does breast cancer get so much press?

I think it is the combination of various factors - marketing, money, community and women.  

The Susan G. Komen Foundation is responsible for the marketing and the money. They have been brilliant on how they have brought their story and the stories of thousand of women to the media. They have amazing fundraising efforts - both event-related fundraising and major gift fundraising from philanthropic individuals and foundations.  Their events such as the "Race for the Cure" raise both dollars and visibility. Komen started the pink ribbon campaign. All I can say is kudos to this amazing organization. 

The last two factors are really inter-connected.  Breast cancer has a higher profile because a community of women have bonded together to face this disease head on. Survivors reach out to newly diagnosed women and those going through treatment. They give them the message you are not alone and we're proof that you can survive this disease. The more women who joined this unregistered sisterhood, the stronger it became. The survivors carry the Komen message forward and become advocates for breast cancer awareness and research. 

(I have plenty of friends who have battled this disease and, blessedly most have beaten it.  And I don't want them to think that this blog post is to diminish their experience because that is certainly not the case.  This is just me wondering out loud.)

I think the "women" part of the equation is most important. Our gender usually shares more of ourselves with other women. I'm not sure if a brotherhood has been created among the men who have survived lung cancer or colon-rectal cancer.

I did notice that the most outspoken advocate and fundraiser for colon-rectal cancer is a woman. Katie Couric lost her husband to the disease and has been speaking out ever since.  Women are just natural advocates and you'd be smart not to mess with any of us when we have found our calling!

When my sister was battling esophageal cancer two years ago, I didn't hear of any esophageal cancers survivors reaching out to her.  I couldn't find an esophageal cancer month or find out if they even have a ribbon. That being said, I did notice that the cancer survivors who did reach out to my sister and supported her were mostly breast cancer survivors. And a big thank you to them!

Cancer is a sucky, horrible disease that we all need to battle against, regardless of the type.

Decision Day for LeBron

Tonight, LeBron James will be announcing where he'll be playing basketball next year. While I'm not a person who cares much about pro-basketball, the story is more human interest than sports for me. If you're a sports person, it's about strategy and if you have a business focus, it's about the money. 

I heard that the New York Knicks have told LeBron that he could make billions (yes, BILLIONS!) if he plays for them because of all the endorsement deals he would get in a major market like NYC. President Obama suggested Chicago Heat since he's all about anything Chicago.  Rumors abound that he's going to the Heat.

I hope he stays in Cleveland. For me, if he stays in Cleveland, it tells me that he loves the game and if he goes anywhere else, it's about the money.

He needs to follow the example of our local boy, Joe Mauer of the Minnesota Twins. LeBron grew up in Cleveland and he is worshiped by the community. To his credit, he has given much back to the community, but Cleveland will be devastated if LeBron leaves.

Isn't it interesting that he made a deal to make his announcement on an ESPN broadcast where all the ad revenue is being given to the Boys & Girls Club? My inner cynic wonders if the philanthropic gesture is to soften the community outrage if he leaves Cleveland?  It will be saying, "I'm going for the money, but aren't I a wonderful and generous person?"  

I'm gonna hope that LeBron proves me wrong and stays in Cleveland. I hope he will be a great example to our youth that it is about the love and the joy of playing the game.

Hope

Whenever I hear the name Wetterling in the news, my attention is immediately focused on what is being said. These last three days of local news covering the 20-year investigation of the kidnapping of Jacob Wetteting in October 1989 has gotten my hopes up for closure for Jacob's family and friends.

His mom, Patty say in interview yesterday that she didn't know what to think or what she wants. I think we can all understand that emotion.

Whenever I hear news about Jacob, I don't think back twenty years - I think back ten years. It was ten years ago that I was invited to serve on the Wetterling Foundation Board of Directors and I had the opportunity to meet the Wetterling family.

Whenever I hear news about Jacob, I re-experience the heart-stopping emotion I felt during my first conversation with Jacob's father, Jerry.

I met Jerry at the Wetterling Foundation offices in St. Joseph, Minnesota for an interview prior to joining the board. During our conversation, he said three words that impacted me as none ever had, "After Jacob's abduction..." As much as I had heard and read about the story, nothing prepared me for this.

I was talking to a man who had his child kidnapped and still didn't know where he was. I was having a one-on-one conversation with someone I had only seen in the news - on the news where the bad news is something that is happening to someone else, not you or someone you know.

Jacob became a real child to me (even though by this time, Jacob would have been about 22 years old). He stopped being a news story and became someone I cared about.

When I was serving on the board, I had clueless people say to me, "Are they still looking for him?"

As if that was the entire purpose of the foundation. The mission of the foundation was to prevent this from ever happening again.

As if a parent would ever stop. No parent would ever want to hear this from their child, "Why did you stop looking for me?"

I pray for the best outcome - whatever that may be.

Home

Last night (Thursday night), I was all set to write a blog post that would demonstrate my anger at some petty and insincere people who are just a bunch of elitist snobs. I would burn them! 

But after I arrived home and switched on the news, Frank and Amelia started telling me about all the tornadoes around the state. I forgot about the blog post and focused on my thoughts of home. The news reports were saying that funnel clouds were being spotted all around Albert Lea in Freeborn County. 

The place I consider home. I may own about 1000 square feet of worn out carpeting in Saint Paul and have a job in the area (sure can't say metro), I'm still an Albert Lean at heart. And at times, a rather homesick one.

 (photo by Arian Shuessler/The Globe-Gazette)

In its usual frustrating style, the news was coming in bits and pieces. Between the reports on TV, I was keeping watch of my friends back home via their posts on Facebook.  The immediacy of the web was a gift last night.

While at work today, it was hard to focus and I was constantly visiting the Albert Lea Tribune website. I knew that one person had been killed and many more injured.  Did I know any one of those people? But I was 100+ miles away and feeling anxious - wishing I could be there.

The Tribune posted an article this afternoon that contained a friend's name in the teaser copy. A quick rush of adreline hit me just seeing a name I knew. Fortunately, the language was the present tense and Terry was talking about the devastation all around him in Alden (just outside of Albert Lea).  

Late this afternoon, the Tribune added a flash gallery of aerial photos of  Freeborn County that were taken Friday afternoon.

Albert Lea Tribune | Gallery of aerial photos of tornado damages 

As the images cycled through of farm after farm demolished, I began to notice something interesting in many of the photos. Beside the outbuildings ripped off their foundations and trees uprooted, there were cars. 

Lots of cars. Lined up in a parking lot fashion.

Not cars overturned or damaged, but the cars of the neighbors and friends of those affected, who had shown up to lend a hand. Amidst the near obliteration of the landscape in the photos, you saw the community. 

I would be there if I could, but all I can do right now is pray for all those who lost homes and particularly for those who lost a mom, a wife and a friend.

The nasty blog post that I had planned on writing isn't going to happen. At least not right now. As ticked off as I was when I walked through my front door last night, the storms reminded me of what was really important. 

And a blog post about petty people would have made me the petty one.

Where are the celebrities and Spill-Aid concerts?

A friend of mine recently posted a comment on Facebook that really got me thinking. She asked, "Where are all the "Save the Gulf" concerts? Where are all the TV benefits with celebrities and musicians giving heart-felt speeches about those fisherman, wildlife, beaches, etc.?"

Where are they?

I know the media is talking about the oil spill. Watching "Morning Joe" recently, they kept showing a video clip of a bird struggling to breathe and so coated in oil, you couldn't even tell what type of bird it was. I couldn't watch it. It was painful and just sad to see an animal struggle like that.

When I lived in Texas in the mid-1980s, I would travel down to Galveston and spend time on the beach. It was an incredibly peaceful place for me. But, I could see off-shore oil rigs in the distance and there was always a tar ball here and there on the beach. I'm not a big fan of big oil, so I would be disgusted by the tar ball, but thought that an occasional tar ball wasn't a huge environmental risk.

The disaster that looms now in the gulf is overwhelming to comprehend. It's been happening now for 56 days. (The counting of the days is reminding me of the Iranian Hostage Crisis in 1979/1980) Plumes of oil are being found 150 miles away from the oil leak site. No one can say for sure, how much oil is escaping from BP's containment cap.

It has occurred to me that the reason we're not seeing these celebrity fundraisers is, unlike Katrina and 9/11, this is a disaster was caused by a corporation. While it doesn't lessen the horrible impact on the economy or the economy, the expectation is that BP will be paying and cleaning up. I don't know if that is even realistic.

I've seen the public relations ad campaign that BP has started running and it just serves to anger me more than improve my opinion of BP.

I learned yesterday that BP had over 700 citations for safety, pollution and other violations - in just the last 3 years. Tony Hayward said that it wasn't an excessive number and they have been improving since he took over.The other Big Oil companies (such as Shell & Exxon)? The individual count for their violations weren't even double digit (yes- less than 10!)

How do you know when Tony Hayward is lying? His lips are moving.

Waiting for someone else is like waiting for Godot

Each day, as part of my job, I schedule tweets for the work account. The tweets are part of our website's "Thought For The Day" pages, which are incredibly popular. Usually one or two each day seem to apply to my life, but none so much as one from today. 

Karen Casey's wonderfully written daily meditation book, "Each Day A New Beginning," features a quote from Kathleen Tierney Crilly in today's message: 

To wait for someone else, or to expect someone else to make my life richer, or fuller, or more satisfying, puts me in a constant state of suspension; and I miss all those moments that pass. They never come back to be experienced again.

Those are words seem to describe the first forty years of my life.  I was always waiting for that person, that someone to come along and make my life complete. I couldn't fathom a life where I was enough; where I could be comfortable with myself, just myself. 

And I know that I have missed much in my life because I had those expectations. 

I saw the play "Waiting for Godot" as a college production. The play itself (not my favorite) is painful to attend, let alone a college production of it. I just remember really, really wanting to get out of the theatre before I shouted out "Godot isn't coming! Get on with your lives." 

Maybe the reason I was waiting was due to the messages I received growing up. I really didn't have any role models in my life that were single women. Everywhere I looked, people were coupled up and then had families.  Growing up in a small town, I never had friends with divorced parents until I was out of college. 


I know I missed so much in that state of suspension. I don't remember any conscious choice to walk away from an opportunity because I was waiting, but it is possible that I didn't take risks that I might have.

Today, while watching President Obama announce his nominee for Supreme Court Justice, Elena Kagen, I realized that she was single (as was his first nominee, Sonia Sotomayor). Two highly successful career women moving into the ultimate job for their vocation.  Did they have single women role models? Or maybe they just figured it out long before I did. 

From everything I see today, the current generation of young women have role models at all levels of success. While I wouldn't see myself as a role model, I could offer myself as a cautionary tale- "Don't wait for someone else to make yourself whole - You already are." 


Image: "Waiting in Cuba" by wahoorob 80

How Massa & Marie are ruining my birthday

Okay, I'm getting more than a little hyper about turning 50 in ten days. And I can blame the media, Eric Massa, Marie Osmond and NutriSystem for all this anxiety.

The media has been covering the Eric Massa story non-stop for the last week and Massa hasn't helped by appearing everywhere from CNN to Fox. Massa is being accused of sexually harassing a male staffer. When asked about a "groping" incident, he admits to it and then goes on to explain that it was more of a "ticklefest" and this was just something that happens at 50th birthday celebrations. It was his 50th birthday party. Really?  Call the restaurant and cancel my party if that's the "average" experience. 

Ah, and then there's NutriSystem. Their most recent advertisement features a woman who lost 96 pounds telling Marie Osmond her story. She explains that her motivation was turning 50 because " if you're overweight and 50, there's really no hope for you." Seriously??!!  Should I just pack it in right now and not bother thinking I have a future?  Not quite sure who the marketing genius is who approved that ad, but it didn't win any fans with any of us who were born in 1960.

I was planning on talking about my progress on my weight loss journey in this post, but since I'm not at my goal weight yet and my 50th birthday is a little over a week away, the geniuses at NutriSystem are telling me that I shouldn't bother with it.  

Well now that I've ranted about it, I feel better about it and will talk about my breakthroughs and fitness plans in tomorrow's post.

Even when my life sucks, it doesn't compare...

I have complained about the windows in my house being too drafty and how I don't have a water softener and what that does to my hair. I have complained about how long of a drive it is to work and I might get upset when the network goes down. There are days when everything goes wrong and I'm sure my life sucks and I deserve a pity party.

But shortly before 5 p.m. (EST) on January 12, 2010, an earthquake with an estimated magnitude of 7.0 rocked the island of Haiti. And shook sense into my "sucky life philosophy" and reminded me that even my worst day is light years away from the reality that millions of Haitians are facing today and for the weeks ahead.

I also need to remind myself that my "sucky life" was still light years ahead of the Haitian BEFORE the earthquake. This island nation is one of the poorest and, if there is any blessing, it is the fact that this poverty had pulled more NGOs (non-government organizations) to their island before the quake. These incredible people were there from the time of the quake to help, even though many of them had also lost their homes to the quake. (Sadly, many of their generous co-workers were also victims of this diaster).

Pray for the Haitians. Pray for the NGO workers who have perished and those workers who survived.

But do more than pray. Donate to the American Red Cross or other relief organizations. It's putting your money where your mouth.

If you think that your $10 gift won't matter, it important to remember it was lots and lots of $10 gifts via text messages that raised $3 million dollars for the ARC in the first 24 hours after the disaster.

The Tiger Moral Compass

Just got done reading the Tiger Woods cover story in the February 2010 issue of Vanity Fair. (Read the story) It is recommended reading. The Annie Leibovitz cover photo was taken before the scandal broke, but it works for the story. 
Since I don't watch trash shows like TMZ, I hadn't heard all of the stories about his escapades. I don't believe in judging other people's lives and their moral choices (I leave that to Brit Hume), but I do wonder what these individuals are thinking when they made those choices. 
I have a lot of questions, but don't have all the answers.
What the hell was Tiger thinking? 
Is his moral compass broken or did he never possess one? Do you think he ever felt guilt for cheating on his wife? Did he think of himself as a phony as he was passing himself off as a family man or did it add to his ego thinking he was "getting away with something?" 
After reading the details of Tiger's sex life that Vanity Fair highlights, I don't think he feels guilt or ever have any type of a moral compass. A quickee in a church parking lot? Really?

The question that wasn't answered in the article (and I doubt it could be answered by anyone except Tiger): Is it nurture or nature? If they are using the whole "sex addiction" as the reason for his behavior, then perhaps it is nature since medical science says that addictions are caused by a brain disorder. Or did he see this behavior in his formative years? At what point in his life did this behavior start? Before or after his rise to fame? Did he think the pedestal that the world put him on (not to mention the millions of dollars he was given) provided him with an invisibility cloak?

What the hell was Tiger thinking? 

Or was he not thinking at all?